“DRAG ME TO HELL” (Alison Lohman)
This movie is so extraordinarily awful & ridiculous it’s bound to become a ‘cult classic’... it is THAT stupid. Yes, many scenes are meant to be laughed at – yet Director/Co-Writer Sam Raimi clearly intends to ‘gross out’ his audience as well.
So what you have is a total mess; a film that can’t decide if it wants to be a ‘legitimate’ horror movie or a campy ‘spoof’ of the genre.
Why Alison Lohman interrupted a promising career to star in this low-rent vehicle is beyond me (I guess Lindsay Lohan was too wasted to sign on the dotted line)
Alison plays Christine Brown, the head of the ‘loans’ dept. at a bank where she’s vying against newcomer/office suck-up ‘Stu’ for the Assistant Manager’s position.
When a disgusting looking old woman named Mrs. Ganush(Lorna Raver) shows up at her desk asking for a third extension on her home loan, Christine decides to play hardball with the old bat & turns her down. Mrs. Ganush goes ballistic & puts a curse on Christine by pulling a button from her jacket (Don’t ask, I won’t tell)
When creepy shadows start following Christine around & rattling her pots & pans, she
goes to a fortune teller (Rham Jas) who tells her she’s been cursed & the demon called Lamia will haunt her for 3 days & then take her to hell on the 4th day unless she can somehow remove the curse.
Some of the movie’s campy-ness works; when Christine is invited to meet & have dinner with her boyfriend’s parents & she sees Mrs. Ganush’s glass eye staring at her from her slice of cake – THAT was eerie & funny. When Christine & Mrs. Ganush ‘do battle’ in a parking garage – THAT was meant to cater to the lowest common denominator of entertainment values.
I’ve never had a problem with Justin Long before, but in his role as Christine’s boyfriend, college professor Clay Dalton, Long sucks big time. Not for one single second did I buy him as a college professor. Plus, Alison is much too pretty to be matched with an unattractive personality-challenged bore like Clay Dalton.
Why, you ask, would I go see something like ‘Drag Me To Hell’? I grew up on the horror monster classics (Frankenstein, Dracula & The Wolf Man) & even though I can’t stand the ‘slasher’ type films that came along later, I’ve always been a sucker for a good demonic possession or something that tried to pay homage to the monster films of my youth (meaning ‘Van Helsing’ specifically) I read that ‘DMTH’ was a ‘throw-back’ to the way horror movies used to be made, so when it came to the Gateway theatre in Federal Way, & the temperature rose into the 90’s, I paid a dollar to cool off & watch a movie I knew my wife would have no interest in seeing.
Bad thing about only paying $1 to see a movie – Riff raff. The audiences are atrocious; its as though they feel it is their duty to try & spoil the movie for everyone else by trying to be as annoying as possible throughout the show. Cell phones are not turned off, comments are not whispered & one large group of teens sat in the first few rows & didn’t even appear to watch the screen at all.
Needless to say, I won’t be going on $1 Tuesday ever again, since this is the same type of aggravation I had to put up with the last time I attended a ‘cheap’ showing...
Back to the film itself, I will say that the final scene did bring a smirk to my face – so it has a positive ending going for it. Since it only cost me a buck to see ‘Drag Me To Hell’ I don’t feel cheated out of my money – Like I said, it’s sooo bad, it’s actual kind of fun to watch – If I didn’t know better, I’d think that Ed Wood returned from the dead & inhabited Sam Raimi’s body for the sole purpose of coming back to make the ‘Plan 9 From Outer Space’ of the 21st century. It's a wonder Sam didn't credit the name Alan Smithee for directing this...