MY LIFE IN RUINS

“MY LIFE IN RUINS” (Nia Vardalos & Richard Dreyfuss)

My wife wanted to see it – cost $3 a ticket – I like Dick.
This isn’t a horrible film as long as you know you’re not going to be entertained by it.
But as it rolled along being bland & predictable, I didn’t see anything that made me hate it. So, with that in mind – it’s not as bad as I thought it would be.
Unfortunately, star Nia Vardalos is in every scene & even though I know many find her likable, I do not. I never saw the film that made her a star for 15 minutes – the Greek Wedding movie – so this is the first time I’ve seen her attempt to act & she is... pathetic. Pathetic AND annoying. She mugs for the camera; she thinks she’s cute & adorable, but she’s supposed to be playing a lovable loser. Now, the loser part she pulls off, the rest of her character’s personality traits seemed forced, at best. She is an awful actress, one who seems to think having big brown eyes makes her talented.
The basic plot here has Georgia (Vardalos) a boring Greek tour guide for a struggling company who takes her vacationers to historic places & explains why they are important. Her ‘opponent’, the ‘popular’ guide takes his groups to exciting places like gift shops & ice cream parlors. When the smarmy guide starts taking Georgia’s group away from her, she finally fights back by adding sexual innuendos into her historical references. & of course, it works.
Included in her group is a sarcastic widower (Dreyfuss) who becomes a saint to the group & there’s a hint that he isn’t what he seems, but is actually Georgia’s guardian angel. Harland Williams & Rachel Dratch play the dumb-ass Americans & add absolutely nothing in the way of humor (I had hopes for them & they let me down) In fact, they become extremely annoying in that they keep calling Georgia, ‘Angie’ because they think she looks like Angelina Jolie . . . W T F ? & of course, Vardalos bats her big brown eyes & smiles in agreement as she says, ‘oh, pishaw!’
A young chubby American is ridiculed by the popular tour guide who gives him a shirt with writing on it in Greek, which when translated insinuates that he’s gay. After being humiliated, I wanted the 2 horny Spanish divorcees out on the prowl for new husbands with their recent breast implants to throw the guy a bone, but they end up in Dick’s bed instead – which didn’t work with the plot at all.
Romantic subplots involving Georgia’s attraction to an IHOP salesman & the bus driver, Poupi, are meant to be heartfelt & humorous – they are neither – they’re only stepping stones to lead us to the inevitable happy ending where Georgia triumphs over the popular guide & everyone lives happily ever after . . . except Dick, who dies.