The PROPOSAL

“The PROPOSAL” (Sandra Bullock & Ryan Reynolds)

This was a ‘wife wants to see it’ deal, so no guff from the peanut gallery as to why I ‘wasted’ my time with this fluff piece (of crap)
& what crap it was! Let’s start with the ridiculously lame premise – Margaret Tate (Bullock) lead editor for a prominent New York publishing firm forgot to dot the I’s & cross the T’s on her Immigration form (She was born in Canada)
So instead of following logic of having her fill in the blanks, she is ‘deported’ back to Canada (for being an undesirable alien?)
In order to avoid deportation she instantly comes up with the ‘beyond anyone’s wildest imagination’ plan that she & her male assistant who despises her are engaged to be married. Reynolds plays Andrew (Drew) Paxton, the much maligned assistant.
To let you know that even the production values of this crappy fluff piece are awful, the same woman is seen walking past Margaret & Andrew 3 times during a scene on a busy N.Y. street – then a guy that was seen earlier walks by yet again as well. I wondered if they did it on purpose just to give those of us that are going to be starving for entertainment something to distract us from the inane dialogue that’s being spoken.
The Immigration Agent assigned to Margaret’s ‘case’ warns Drew that if he’s caught lying about the engagement he faces a 5 year prison term & a $250,000 fine... Since when did New York decide to declare a ‘War’ on Book Publishers?
Drew strikes a deal with Margaret for a huge promotion after he marries her & off they go to Sitka, Alaska to meet his family.
Here is where I thought there might be a spackling of humor since Betty White was cast as Drew’s ‘Grannie’; but no, even though Ms. White has a history of being surprisingly funny in cameos, she doesn’t utter a single funny line. Malin Ackerman, looking much prettier as a blonde than she did in ‘Watchmen’, plays Drew’s ex-Alaskan girlfriend & even though you’re supposed to tell there’s still a ‘spark’ between them – there isn’t; whether its the lack of chemistry, or the two actors just aren’t that dynamic onscreen, this subplot simply doesn’t create any interest.
Mary Steenburgen has become the actress to cast when a typical/bland mother is needed.
Although Craig T. Nelson brings nothing to the table either as the father Drew never connected with, he did utter my favorite line when he adopts a bewildered countenance & asks, “Am I the only one that doesn’t get this?” I had to respond by saying, “No, Craig, you’re not alone.”
This ‘weekend’ trip to Alaska seemed to last several days as Drew & Margaret ‘pretend’ to sleep in the same bed about 4 or 5 nights, but yet the film starts on Friday & ends on Monday! (Must have something to do with those ’30 days of nights’ in Alaska, eh?)
There’s a recurring character named Ramon that appears every 15 minutes (Whether you want him to, or not) Ramon is exceptionally annoying – though the easily entertained Renton audience laughed hysterically at everything he did & said, so what do I know?
There was a cute little Alaskan puppy that I found adorable to look at, but the attempts at using the fuzzy ball of white fur for comedic purposes failed as well. (Just to me though, the easily entertained Rentontonians guffawed loudly)
There is an insipid scene where Margaret & Drew collide while both are totally nude (Margaret just emerged from the shower; Drew’s reason for being naked has no logic other than the director’s thinking, “I’ll bet people in Renton, Washington will think this is hilarious.”) Prior to the collision, Margaret is trying to find a towel to dry herself with & for some reason thinks the puppy will attack her if she makes a move toward the linen closet – while dealing with the puppy, Margaret covers her chest & groin with her hands... Why? In real life, do people really cover themselves when there’s a pet in the room? “Oh my God, there’s that dog – I can’t let him see my boobs & ‘fluff’ – he’ll describe what I look like naked on the internet & my career as a deported book editor will be ruined!”
The Paxton family convinces the ‘happy’ couple to get married the next day (After all, it IS a never-ending Alaskan weekend) & who shows up? The Immigration agent from New York... He FLIES from N.Y. to Sitka, Alaska to witness a book editor marry her assistant just because he’s convinced they’re perpetrating a fraud... Even if this movie had a few funny moments in it, I would have turned against it for being so aggressive at insulting my intelligence.
I’ll end my review with my other favorite quote; Margaret writes Drew a farewell letter in which she promises to get his book published – Drew throws the note to the floor saying, ”And then she writes this crap!” . . . I didn’t check to see if a woman actually did write the screenplay to ‘The Proposal’, but either way, that line pretty much sums up every line of dialogue presented in this fluffy piece of crap.