"GHOSTS OF GIRLFRIENDS PAST" (Matt McConaughey, Jennifer Garner & Michael Douglas)
See: “The PROPOSAL”
Oh, all right, I already tried to one line review with ‘Paul Blart’ I guess I’d better not do it again. On my laugh-o-meter ‘GGP’ scored a 2 & 1/2 . . . that’s 76 & ½ fewer than ‘The Hangover’ (Even ‘The Proposal’ made it to 3)
This film is an insult to both arrogant a**holes & airhead bimbos – plus it has the added ‘attraction’ of two of the most over-rated ‘pretty’ actors in Tinseltown. I don’t understand what attracts women to McConaughey & I personally find Garner to be a little on the homely side. & acting chops? Let’s not even go there; I think I’ve insulted the two stars where it hurts them the most anyway.
This movie doesn’t waste any time in letting you know where it is headed – right from the opening scene you are made aware that Conner Meade (McConaughey) is the world’s biggest jerk – Doesn’t even pretend to be suave, & makes it perfectly clear that he thinks women have one purpose in this world & that’s for him to lay & then toss aside. He has a reputation for doing this, so naturally ALL women find him irresistible (Hence my summation that this film even insults bimbos)
The groomsmen in Conner’s brother’s wedding party think he’s a ‘legend’. These so-called ‘men’ are, of course, pathetic losers. I would hope that most guys would look upon Conner as a legendary a**hole who shouldn’t be admired by anyone with any trace of self esteem.
Jennifer Garner plays ‘Jenny’ – the one that ‘got away’ from Conner . . . ‘Got away’ meaning that after she asked him to spend the night spooning her after the first time they had sex, she woke up alone.
If there’s anything positive to say about this film, it would have to be Michael Douglas’ performance as Conner’s late Uncle Wayne, appearing both as a ghost & in flashbacks as he teaches young Conner how to disrespect females in every possible way. Even having said he’s a ‘positive’, Uncle Wayne really doesn’t do or say anything clever.
After introducing us to Conner the a**hole, we are then further subjected to just how uncaring this horndog is as he proceeds to destroy his younger brother’s wedding; one truly moronic scene has Conner ruining the multi-tiered wedding cake when all he had to do was to call out for someone to help him in the kitchen.
The film then decides to insult the work of Charles Dickens as Conner is told by ghost Uncle Wayne that he will be visited by 3 ghosts. The best line in the movie is delivered by the Ghost of Girlfriends Past – the 16 year old that was Conner’s first conquest – as she tells him “We’re going to try & figure out how you got your head shoved so far up your own a--.”
The Ghost of Girlfriends Present speaks a telling line with, “Look how much fun everyone is having now that you’re gone.” Too bad the script writer didn’t realize how truthful that line was & not create this loathsome character to begin with.
& you already know that the GGF shows Conner his own gravesite with his brother being the lone mourner. . . If Mr. Dickens isn’t spinning in his grave each & every time this film is being shown then he must have been cremated.
“17 AGAIN” (Zac Efron, Thomas Lennon & Matthew Perry)
Wife wanted to see it, waited until it came to the $3 cinema & built up some ‘husband’ points so I could get to see the stuff I want to see later in the year.
This film was very confusing to me, since the lead character -
& I was so impressed with this movie, I don’t remember any of the character’s names, so we’ll call him ZacMatt –
appears to be the gayest member of his high school basketball team, but then we see him walking out on his team in the middle of the ‘big’ game when he discovers his girlfriend is pregnant... Must have been ‘experimenting’ with heterosexuality before taking classes on interior decorating?
We then FF & see MattZac as a frustrated loser of an adult (& his gay/boyish looks have been totally shot to hell) who wakes up as a 17 year old after telling the janitor at his old school that he’d really like to get another shot at winning the ‘big’ game. When the premise of your story is that some old fart wakes up young again, you'd think the writer would at least try to come up with something 'creative' as to how it happened!
Comedy doesn’t exactly thrive in environments such as this & ’17 Again’ is no exception. ZacMatt is shocked to discover his daughter is a slut throwing herself at a future deadbeat dad; his son is the school putz; & his ex-wife wants to screw his brains out because he reminds her of the man that disappointed her so much over the past 20 years.
Without revealing the ending, as if you even WANTED to know how it ends, I will always remember this film as being the one where Zac Efron walks off the basketball court in his uniform & as he turns back into Matthew Perry, the uniform actually becomes baggier rather than tighter . . . Does anyone actually believe that MP is in better shape the ZE?
Oh, & co-writer Thomas Lennon (Reno 911) plays MattZac’s best friend who pretends to be his father after he turns into ZacMatt. Thomas acts & dresses even gayer than ZacMatt, yet they still expect the audience to believe that his character has the hots for the school principal – Who ISN'T a dude. Is this the ‘metrosexual’ trend taking over Hollywood? Seems to me there are a lot of obviously gay characters being presented as ‘macho’ guys lately. Does this mean all those flaming disco songs The Village People sang back in the late 70’s are coming true?
Well, spank my a-- & call me Sally!
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