“HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU” (Affleck,Aniston,Barrymore,Connelly,Connolly,Cooper,Goodwin,Johansson & Long)
As you can tell by the list of ‘stars’ – this is more or less an elongated episode of ‘Friends’ – the only thing missing was the annoying monkey. The acting was very much along the quality of ‘average’ TV fare, the only surprise was Justin Long who showed a glimpse of possibly becoming a passable film actor. Bradley Cooper(Previously known to me as Rachel McAdams fiancé in ‘Wedding Crashers’) has movie star looks, but needs to prove himself at least adequate in other genres before he can be taken seriously. Other than that, I’ve said it before & I’ll say it again – Scarlett Johansson can’t act a lick, but who cares? Goodness gracious, great balls of fire, what a body that little minx has!
So, getting to the meat of this film... well, that’s going to be difficult because this is lightweight stuff – 9 characters all mingling together at various times, coming together, breaking apart, finding a new character to mingle with, discovering they’re not the ‘right one’ either, mingling on... Yet, despite the ‘Friends’-like setting, this film was almost as depressing as ‘7 Pounds’
The highlight was when Ron Wood’s “I Can Feel The Fire” was heard playing in a bar. The low-lite was that the actors were trying to talk over it instead of shutting the hell up!
Here’s a rundown of the characters – You got Affleck & Aniston (Ben & Jennifer) as a couple that have been together for 7 years; she wants to get married – he maintains that marriage is a boulder that will weigh him down & he won’t be happy as a husband. So they split up & he goes to live on his boat. The creepiest moment happens in the first scene involving Ben & Jen; it takes place in their apartment where there’s a painting of a bald, stocky older man who appears to be peaking into the room from behind a curtain or a doorway – Throughout the entire scene I kept wondering ‘What is wrong with these people that they would put something like that in their abode?’ Needless to say, I have no idea what was said between the two characters, but I have a feeling I didn’t miss much – She wanted him to do a simple favor for her & he refused, would be my guess since that seemed to be the ‘heart’ of their relationship. It was like watching ‘The Break Up 2’ without Vince Vaughn.
Then there’s Connelly & Cooper (Jennifer2 & Bradley) as a married couple that are in the midst of renovating their home when they should be renovating their relationship. They split up when Jennifer discovers Bradley is having an affair with the incredibly gorgeous Scarlett Johansson; If she came on to me, I’d do the same (sorry, honey)
To Bradley’s credit he resists for a while, but holy maracas, look at that rack!
Scarlett is being pursued by Connolly (Kevin) a squeaky-voiced wimp that ‘pretends’ to be gay in order to make real estate deals... Yeah, right, little fella, its all ‘pretend’ isn’t it?
The 2nd most creepy scene in this film is when Scarlett is shown in bed with this freckled, hairy Mini-Me draped all over her. It sent shivers up my spine.
Fortunately, my least favorite actress, Drew Barrymore has limited scenes; she too is surrounded by gay men in her workplace who are constantly offering dating advice. Problem is Drew’s character doesn’t have a d--k...
Which brings us to the final characters played by Ginnifer3 Goodwin & Justin Long - These two are not a couple as Justin’s ‘Alex’ takes pity on Ginnifer’s pathetic ‘Gigi’ when she comes into his bar looking for the quasi-gay real estate agent Connolly. Long & Connolly are buds, so Alex informs Gigi that Kevin will never call her back because (Insert Movie Title)
Alex becomes Gigi’s dating mentor – every time she meets someone, she calls Alex & alerts him of the situation - & every time Alex tells her to pack it in, her date is only interested in one thing & it isn’t a ‘lasting’ relationship. The reason I’m giving more detail on this pair is because I could relate to Alex (in a sense) I too, have been known to reveal the unspoken secrets of the male mind to female friends in order to try & save their hearts from being broken – but I’m a happily married old fart – A young, unattached guy like Alex has no business breaking the rules because – 1) He’s on the prowl himself & 2) he starts ‘informing’ the moment he meets this girl – not only that, he’s ratting out his best friend! But as Alex & Gigi interact, you can understand how she begins to feel that he’s secretly trying to ‘conquer’ her & this is just plain wrong. Gigi is such a pathetic loser psycho nut case that no sane man would EVER return one of her calls or even hint that there might be a chance at a second date. So the fact that psycho Gigi was falling for Alex merely because she pieced together clues that he ‘wanted’ her, you knew it was going to end badly.
Due to the title of the film, I thought for certain that this would be an inventive ‘chick flick’ & that none of these people would have the fairy tale ending, but oddly enough, most of them do – So obviously somebody gets INTO somebody before the ending credits, which makes me wonder why not call this movie what it REALLY is? – “Needy Broads & Dorky Dudes”