Wednesday, February 11, 2009

HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU

“HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU” (Affleck,Aniston,Barrymore,Connelly,Connolly,Cooper,Goodwin,Johansson & Long)

As you can tell by the list of ‘stars’ – this is more or less an elongated episode of ‘Friends’ – the only thing missing was the annoying monkey. The acting was very much along the quality of ‘average’ TV fare, the only surprise was Justin Long who showed a glimpse of possibly becoming a passable film actor. Bradley Cooper(Previously known to me as Rachel McAdams fiancé in ‘Wedding Crashers’) has movie star looks, but needs to prove himself at least adequate in other genres before he can be taken seriously. Other than that, I’ve said it before & I’ll say it again – Scarlett Johansson can’t act a lick, but who cares? Goodness gracious, great balls of fire, what a body that little minx has!
So, getting to the meat of this film... well, that’s going to be difficult because this is lightweight stuff – 9 characters all mingling together at various times, coming together, breaking apart, finding a new character to mingle with, discovering they’re not the ‘right one’ either, mingling on... Yet, despite the ‘Friends’-like setting, this film was almost as depressing as ‘7 Pounds’
The highlight was when Ron Wood’s “I Can Feel The Fire” was heard playing in a bar. The low-lite was that the actors were trying to talk over it instead of shutting the hell up!
Here’s a rundown of the characters – You got Affleck & Aniston (Ben & Jennifer) as a couple that have been together for 7 years; she wants to get married – he maintains that marriage is a boulder that will weigh him down & he won’t be happy as a husband. So they split up & he goes to live on his boat. The creepiest moment happens in the first scene involving Ben & Jen; it takes place in their apartment where there’s a painting of a bald, stocky older man who appears to be peaking into the room from behind a curtain or a doorway – Throughout the entire scene I kept wondering ‘What is wrong with these people that they would put something like that in their abode?’ Needless to say, I have no idea what was said between the two characters, but I have a feeling I didn’t miss much – She wanted him to do a simple favor for her & he refused, would be my guess since that seemed to be the ‘heart’ of their relationship. It was like watching ‘The Break Up 2’ without Vince Vaughn.
Then there’s Connelly & Cooper (Jennifer2 & Bradley) as a married couple that are in the midst of renovating their home when they should be renovating their relationship. They split up when Jennifer discovers Bradley is having an affair with the incredibly gorgeous Scarlett Johansson; If she came on to me, I’d do the same (sorry, honey)
To Bradley’s credit he resists for a while, but holy maracas, look at that rack!
Scarlett is being pursued by Connolly (Kevin) a squeaky-voiced wimp that ‘pretends’ to be gay in order to make real estate deals... Yeah, right, little fella, its all ‘pretend’ isn’t it?
The 2nd most creepy scene in this film is when Scarlett is shown in bed with this freckled, hairy Mini-Me draped all over her. It sent shivers up my spine.
Fortunately, my least favorite actress, Drew Barrymore has limited scenes; she too is surrounded by gay men in her workplace who are constantly offering dating advice. Problem is Drew’s character doesn’t have a d--k...
Which brings us to the final characters played by Ginnifer3 Goodwin & Justin Long - These two are not a couple as Justin’s ‘Alex’ takes pity on Ginnifer’s pathetic ‘Gigi’ when she comes into his bar looking for the quasi-gay real estate agent Connolly. Long & Connolly are buds, so Alex informs Gigi that Kevin will never call her back because (Insert Movie Title)
Alex becomes Gigi’s dating mentor – every time she meets someone, she calls Alex & alerts him of the situation - & every time Alex tells her to pack it in, her date is only interested in one thing & it isn’t a ‘lasting’ relationship. The reason I’m giving more detail on this pair is because I could relate to Alex (in a sense) I too, have been known to reveal the unspoken secrets of the male mind to female friends in order to try & save their hearts from being broken – but I’m a happily married old fart – A young, unattached guy like Alex has no business breaking the rules because – 1) He’s on the prowl himself & 2) he starts ‘informing’ the moment he meets this girl – not only that, he’s ratting out his best friend! But as Alex & Gigi interact, you can understand how she begins to feel that he’s secretly trying to ‘conquer’ her & this is just plain wrong. Gigi is such a pathetic loser psycho nut case that no sane man would EVER return one of her calls or even hint that there might be a chance at a second date. So the fact that psycho Gigi was falling for Alex merely because she pieced together clues that he ‘wanted’ her, you knew it was going to end badly.
Due to the title of the film, I thought for certain that this would be an inventive ‘chick flick’ & that none of these people would have the fairy tale ending, but oddly enough, most of them do – So obviously somebody gets INTO somebody before the ending credits, which makes me wonder why not call this movie what it REALLY is? – “Needy Broads & Dorky Dudes”

6 comments:

dbm said...

I'm not going to rank on ya for seeing this, but I will admit I'm surpised this was a choice. And not because it would be deemed a chick flick, because at one time I thought I was going to see it too.
I would have thought what would have kept you away was all the myspace and texting talk. Once I saw the trailers, I just thought no way in hell.
Also the film had been in the can for almost 2 years. Very bad sign.
Means that distibutor's passed on the film for a long time. There's usually a reason for this.
Also, the cast looked very uninspired to me except Bradley Cooper ( and who could blame him )
My girlfirend said Ben Affleck seemed like it was killing him to be there. And that there was no chemistry between any of the couples. Picking up another paycheck.
I'm just not into that kind of movie.

movie luva said...

My brother and I saw this over the weekend and you took the word's right out of my mouth. We said the same thing. It had a Lifetime or a Friends vibe to it. I feel Jennifer Connelly's weakest work to date. The written material is weak and nothing new.

And none of the actors were convincing. I agree there wasn't a scrape of chemistry between the them. I'd say wait to people and rent it.

Terry R said...

I'm not going to comment on what would drive Movieluva's brother to want to see a chick flick with his sister, but how many times do I have to explain to you, dbm that I have a significant other? & she IS significant to me, so when there's nothing much out, we go see what she'd like to see - & there's NOTHING else out right now. What may I ask did you see last weekend? 'Pink Panther 2'?
& trust me, watching Ben Affleck attempt to act is much more painful than HIS agony of having to play Jennifer Aniston's love interest - I'd take that job in a second & I'd put forth a better effort even with the weak material!
Yes, I knew it was probably going to stink - what film with Drew Barrymore in the cast doesn't? But most of the female cast members were easy on the eyes (& Scarlett almost made me drool) & that's my one criteria for going to a chick flick - Good looking females. I had more fun looking at Ms.Johansson & the Jennifers than I did viewing 'Revolutionary Road' - & you, my friend, encouraged me to see that huge pile of excrement! & I think everyone who read your comment would agree that even though you opened by saying you weren't going to rank on me - the rest of your comment seemed to be 'ranking'. For some reason you think I'm an idiot for taking my wife to see a film she wanted to see. Apparently your girlfriend had to see it without you - Don't mean to sound like Dr. Phil (An actual idiot) but perhaps if you went with her to sit thru trash once in a while, your relationship would improve.
I don't mean to 'rank' on you either, but why can't you understand that I don't make every choice of movie I see? It's called compromising & trying to be a good husband. & believe me, with my current job situation, I need to score as many points as possible!

dbm said...

Ever hear about renting ? Netflix ? Blockbuster ? Going to the movies just to be going to the movies is almost wasting money. Especially in this economy. I quit that analogy long ago, in a committed relationship or not. And most of the time, SHE ( significant other )got it. Sorry, but why in the world would I want to have my signifacant other PAY to sit through CRAP, when there is actually OTHER things more positive and interesting you could spend your money on... Or not even, heck... there are things you could do that are free, that just conjures up a little creativity, than blowing cash on crappy movies.
I understand the romance and the bonding aspect of going to the movies, but I just won't spend money on something I just know is movie simplicity and dirge. Hollystrange are already raking us over, I'm not budging unless it's something worth sitting through. NOT Simpatico.

dbm said...

Part II retort.

I NEVER encouraged you to go see Revolutionary Road. Maybe your confusing that with The Wrestler. In fact, you can go to your archives and see what I said about that movie. I said AVOID it.
And seeing crappy movies has nothing to do with my relationship with my girlfriend and her being diagnosed as being bi-polar. I can see 50 crappy movies with her, that won't UN diagnose her condition.
And I didn't see a movie last weekend. My girlfriend went with her mom and sister. I was asked to come along and I passed.
If there isn't something that fancies me, I'll skip. Rent a classic or catch up on some reading.

Terry R said...

All right, dbm, calm down... you're turning into Alan Smithee on me! You've been taking shots at me for going to see what you call crap for some time now, I simply took a few shots back in my defense.
For the record, no, we don't rent,Netflix or blockbuster; seeing one or 2 new movies a week is plenty for us. I am truly sorry that you took my 'elbow in the ribs' line about your relationship with your girlfriend as personal as you did. I'm a smart-ass; my mind instantly goes for the smart-alec line. I thought that's what made my reviews worth reading - It WAS the reason you WANTED me to go see Revolutionary Road - You said 'you'll hate it, but go see it' because you wanted to read my reaction. Again, I am sorry if I insulted you. That's the problem with written comments - you can't see the impish smirk on my face as I write my childish retorts.
Just be aware that my wife will continue to want to see crap & I will continue to take her to see it because that's what we do for 'dates' - after well over 20 years together, it's exciting for us to just sit in the theatre & hold hands. In the future I will try to remember to just poke fun at bad movies instead of those who are kind enough to read my silly rantings!