PINEAPPLE EXPRESS

“PINEAPPLE EXPRESS” (Seth Rogen & James Franco)

I would love to see the screenplay to this for two reasons – 1) To prove to me that there really was a script & 2) To see if someone actually WROTE the lines that Rosie Perez utters throughout this comedic masterpiece. 3 writers are credited, including Rogen & the ‘on a roll with everyone except me’ Judd Apatow; to think that someone might have actually scripted Perez’ female cop’s lines is unfathomable to me - & that someone else would read those lines & say,
“Oh yeh, THAT stays in the script” is totally mind boggling. & I’m just picking on one character that was exceptionally poorly written, the rest of them just suck ass on the general low-brow comedy scale.
I don’t believe that a script exists – it seemed to me that the actors were given set ups & told to
‘try & make it funny’. Rogen plays a pot head process server/ Franco the pot head he buys his weed from. Scene: Rogen buys pot from Franco, just remember to work in the fact that the weed is called Pineapple Express & its an exclusive ‘blend’. Scene: Seth & James run away from bad guys – James jumps into a dumpster. ‘Cut! James why did you jump into the dumpster?’
(James) “I thought maybe one of us would say something funny about it.” ‘Well, you didn’t,
but we’ll keep it in anyway.’
That’s the way this entire film plays out – Ending with an elongated ‘shoot out’ scene that is neither funny nor action packed – it’s just dumb & boring. When the amount of times your asking yourself ‘Isn’t this supposed to be a comedy?’ Outnumber the number of actual funny lines, you know you’re watching a quality flick!
The plot is sophomoronic (A new word I invented just for this review – I mean, how many times can I write ‘this is crap’?) & the acting is beyond pathetic. But possibly the worst offense this film makes is in the skin crawling matchup of fat, homely, too lazy to shave pothead loser Seth Rogen & his ‘girlfriend’ – A cheerleader cute high school girl... Yeah, Seth, THAT’S believable – just like they expected us to believe the same character got Katherine Heigl ‘Knocked Up’...
Oddly enough, the only character that made me laugh was Franco’s – the scene where he steals the cop car & attempts to kick out the windshield was quite humorous. But unfortunately most of this film ‘jumps into the dumpster’ for no particular reason...