Tuesday, January 1, 2008


(Hillary Swank & Gerard Butler)

Dear movie goer,How are you? I am fine. Well, I was better before we decided to spend part of Christmas Day suffering thru Hillary Swank’s embarrassing ‘romantic/comedy’ debut in ‘P.S. I Luv You’. When it was finally over, I asked myself – How did this crap ever get made? Seriously – Here’s the pitch – You tell me how this got green lighted –A 29 year old woman loses her husband of 10 years to a brain tumor. Now, to establish how much they loved another, we’re going to open with them having an argument for 15 minutes – Make the audience believe this couple is heading for a divorce - & then – bam, we cut to his funeral.

We have all the mourners make crude remarks about their 35 year old Irish friend who died so suddenly, so tragically & then get sloppy drunk because that’s what dear departed Jerry (Butler) would have wanted.Widow Holly (Swank) pukes on a man she’s just met in a closet (Harry Connick, Jr.) Her best friend Phoebe/Ursula (Lisa Kudrow) shows her respect by hitting on every guy in the bar until she finds the first non-gay single guy with a job & then starts making out with him 15 seconds after she meets him.In fact, every male in this movie (Save for Connick’s Daniel) kisses a strange woman passionately within seconds of their first meeting... Am I slow? I have never in my life kissed a woman passionately upon any first meeting – I have never witnessed anyone (even drunk) start kissing a previously unknown person passionately upon their initial meeting – Yet in this 2 hour movie, it happens 4 times.

Now, that’s some clever writing right there, huh? After the first 3 times it happens – what’s the last thing you’d expect – that right – a fourth time!I’ve always liked Gina Gershon, but there’s nothing for her to do here but look as bewildered as I must have while watching this garbage.Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot, I’m still pitching this idea to prospective movie producers, aren’t I ? Okay, forget all that sarcasm, this story is truly original because the dead husband starts sending his widowed wife letters telling her what she needs to do to get over his passing – He does this by staying in her life for over a year with these ‘helpful’ communiqués – sends her to sing Karaoke because she can’t sing; send her to Ireland so she can kiss his best friend passionately upon their first meeting & subsequently have sex with him because even though she was married to his ‘best’ friend for 10 years, the two had never met previously. See? That’s not idiotic - its ‘originality’, eh?

Well, my Movie Going Friend, what do think? Is this something you’d pay money to see? Did I tell you it has Hillary, Lisa & Gina going fishing because dead Jerry wrote them letters telling them to? Did I mention how hilarious that scene is because they get a fish on the line & none of them knows how to reel it in? Did I remember to write that? Oh yeah, now I know why I forgot – because it ISN’T FUNNY.A Romantic/Comedy without romance or comedy – what a concept!The only character with any ‘soul’ – that is worthy of caring about is Harry Connick, Jr.’s Daniel. Nice job, Harry – You were great in the offbeat but very original ‘Bug’ earlier this year too. Maybe you’ll recover from ‘Poop Floats’ after all....Sincerely,A Critic Who Tells It Like It Is.P.S. This movie sucks.P.S.S. & it will continue to suck even after I’m dead.

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