Thursday, June 3, 2010

SHREK FOREVER AFTER

“SHREK FOREVER AFTER” (Voices of: Mike Meyers, Cameron Diaz & Eddie Murphy)

I liked the first Shrek – something about Eddie Murphy being an ass appeals to me. After the second one, I knew I was done. If I saw the third one, I don’t remember it. When my wife told me she didn’t have any desire to see #4, I breathed a sigh of relief...
So why am I reviewing ‘Shrek IV: The Final Failure?’ Someone who works with my wife told her it was really funny & cute... BEWARE of these people, they are lying sacks of Shrek. ‘Forever After’ isn’t remotely funny – as I struggled to stay awake (& no, I wasn’t tired, just bored) odd little items entered my brain... “Boy, ‘Donkey’ looks like he has the mange – he should go take a bath.” . . . “So Shrek is Irish, eh? I guess I always knew that, but it’s really annoying in this one – he sounds gay... Meyers should have done him with a Russian accent, I mean, c’mon, ‘Shrek’? That’s not an Irish name, it sounds Bolshevik to me.” . . . “Boy, that guy behind me sure splashed on a lot of cheap cologne, what is that, Apple-Cinnamon Musk?”
I don’t really have much else to say because I retained pretty much next to nothing of it – it’s as though (imitating Ben Kingsley in ‘Shutter Island’) ‘the movie evaporated right thru the walls of its cell’.
I do remember what the biggest problem was - & I’ve always related this to ‘real’ movies so it makes sense that it applies to cartoons – the villain stunk. I don’t know if it was the guy who voiced Rumplestiltskin, or just the character, but they did nothing to make him ‘memorable’.
The idea was to try & bring back the ‘spark’ of the first ‘Shrek’ by having the ogre go back in time to when he first rescued Princess Fiona – except this time, thanks to Rinkledforeskin, Shrek never rescues the Princess, so everything has changed & nobody knows Shrek – in this horrible alternate universe, ogres are rounded up & imprisoned as though they were common... ogres!
I smirked a couple of times at Antonio Banderas’s “Puss ‘n’ Boots” having become a lazy, ‘fat cat’, but there isn’t a single solitary ‘laugh’ in the entire film – Pinocchio came close, but I never did more than crack a smile.
So it WASN’T funny and it wasn’t all that cute - & if my wife’s co-worker who recommended “Shrek: Void of Laughter” reads this – Keep your opinions to yourself because you don’t know Shrek from dreck...

1 comment:

movie luva said...

Ugh... Boring and unfunny. As a fan of the first I was expecting better. They pushed it two movies too much. Glad to hear they put the kabosh on the anymore.
Mike, Eddie and Cameron did grab a ton of bling doing these movies. I hear they each get 25% of the gross plus DVD sales/rentals as well. Must be a tough life.