AVATAR

“AVATAR” (Sam Worthington & Sigourney Weaver)
First off, I’m not a paid critic so I can say whatever I please & all you can do is read it, shake your head & think, “What a jerk.”
So here goes – I found it hard to believe that this film, clearly the greatest movie ever made according to the American movie going public, is nothing more than propaganda proclaiming that American soldiers are not only the biggest bunch of a**holes on earth, but in the universe & beyond. I could understand why a film like this would do boffo box office overseas, but here in America? If you paid more than $3 to see this film, you’re unpatriotic and I suggest you leave this country immediately.
Okay, I’m kidding - I had no problem with the American military being portrayed as total dicks – but I did find it hard to believe that SO many flag waving, red, white & blue blooded Americans overlooked that fact & made this the biggest grossing movie of all-time.
It’s not great, but I will give it a passing grade. What I liked about it though, isn’t what everyone else has raved about – I thought the special effects were quite cheesy – I started getting a headache from looking at all the black light posters, which is basically what this movie is, kids – it’s one giant moving black light poster. Plus, it’s also half real life actors/ half cartoon - & it isn’t even as innovative as ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit?’ because the cartoons & real life actors don’t interact until the final scenes.
I can easily see how little children would be fascinated by it. Thanks to the soundtrack & the jungle theme, at times I felt like I was watching a ‘Lion King’ sequel.
I mean, come on, it was ridiculously silly at times – Unoptainium? Which in & of itself is a rip-off of Rocky & Bullwinkle’s Upsydaisium from the early 60’s!
The ‘monsters’ of the jungle were the least impressive creations – they looked like plastic models to me. The elongated cat-like Smurfs were somewhat more detailed than your average Smurf, but hey, this isn’t a Saturday morning cartoon, this is the greatest motion picture ever made so I’d expect the stretched out Pussy/Smurfs to have movable ears & tales.
Probably the silliest concept was how the Pussy/Smurfs connected with their pterodactyls... by braiding their hair together. I’m sure off-camera they probably did each others’ nails as well...
To me, to be a great film, you have to include it all – a good drama will get bogged down if it doesn’t include a few light hearted/comedic moments – I chuckled once during this 2½ hour film – the audience (about a dozen or so people) didn’t make a sound the entire time.
The acting was substandard, but that isn’t a priority in any James Cameron film – As wheelchair-ridden ‘jarhead’ Jake Sully, Sam Worthington’s toughest stretch was learning how to maneuver about in a wheelchair. Note to filmmaker – he looked awkward; someone should have practiced with him more.
Sigourney Weaver as Dr. Grace Ripley showed more realistic facial expressions as a cartoon than she did as herself.
Giovanni Ribisi has managed to turn his once promising career into a throwaway ‘bit actor for sale’ reputation.
& the guy who played Scarface (Sorry, I didn’t stay for the credits my butt was numb & I had to get up before rigor mortis set in) couldn’t have been more of a carbon copy blowhard Military General if he tried.
What I liked about it was the storyline – It basically followed the same path as when the Europeans first set foot in what would become known as America – they came, they saw a peaceful people who respected the land & the creatures they shared it with, & they conquered the living crap out of them. Except here, the ‘Indians’ band together & fight back.
Being one of the last people on the planet to see ‘Avatar’, I’m guessing its okay for me to reveal the ending, right? Because I was trying to figure out the morale to this story – Was it the American military is evil & we must stop it before it gets out of control?
Or was it – In a battle of robots versus cartoons, bet on the Pussy/Smurfs over the Transformers?