Monday, March 22, 2010

The BOUNTY HUNTER

“The BOUNTY HUNTER” (Jennifer Aniston & Gerard Butler)

Sooner or later, I’m going to reach the point where I tell my wife, “Unless Jennifer does a nude scene, I’m not going to anymore of her movies.”
So there are your choices, Jen; either start picking better projects, or strip...
This piece of crap wants to be everything; a romantic comedy, a thrill ride buddy flick & a gritty police drama... it fails at every level. Other than the obvious blame going to Sarah Thorp, the writer of the bombastically stupid screenplay, an equal amount of blame must be heaped upon Butler. He wants to become another Hugh Jackman but he’s clearly in the Matthew McConaughey zone of bad actor that picks dumb roles.
Butler has developed the annoying habit of speaking out of the side of his mouth (It seems to happen every time he adopts an ‘American’ accent) which, I believe he thinks makes him appear to be ‘macho’... which is synonymous with ‘a jerk’.
Here, Butler’s Milo, an Ex-Cop turned Bounty Hunter is such an a**hole that you don’t buy for a second that a character as sweet as Aniston’s Nicole, complete with tanned legs & cleavage, would ever fall for him in the first place. But that’s what we’re expected to believe as ex-spouses, Milo & ‘Nic’ are thrown together when Aniston’s reporter character becomes a wanton criminal after missing one court date. She is a respectable news reporter with no criminal activity in her past – they are not going to put out an APB or send a bounty hunter out to ‘bring ‘er in at any cost’ like this dumbass film’s premise expects us to believe.
And although I slammed her in the opening of this review, Jennifer is actually the only tolerable part of this horrid film. It is Butler who needs to have his acting license revoked.
The premise is; news reporter Nicole gets a traffic ticket for ‘brushing’ a policeman while driving recklessly to cover the story of an apparent suicide victim who clearly didn’t commit suicide. While heading to court for her appearance she receives a call from her ‘snitch’ who wants to meet her immediately (the proverbial matter of life & death) so Nicole blows off her courtroom appearance & heads to the meeting place where she finds the snitch’s abandoned car with the driver’s side window busted out.
Within minutes of missing her court appearance, Nicole’s name shows up as a bail jumper & her ex-husband Milo is assigned the case – from there hilarity ensues... if your definition of hilarity is an hour & a half of idiotic set ups & humorless dialogue.
In the fairly crowded theatre in which I viewed The Bounty Hunter, I’d say the crowd laughed twice, chuckled twice & yawned too many times to count. I’m guessing word of mouth is going to sink this film in its second week & it will fade very quickly.
Just to give you an idea as to how moronic this movie is – there’s a scene where Milo & Nic are trying to get into a posh country club. Milo, dressed in a checkered ‘discount store sale’ shirt, well worn jeans & tennis shoes, pretends to be a U.S. Senator. The receptionist asked from which state and Milo says “Oklahoma” while Nic says “Kansas”
Then Milo changes his answer to “Kansas” while Nic says, “Okla...homa.”
That scene was so funny & original I thought I’d wet myself from doubling over with laughter – I’ve never witnessed anything like that before in my life, it was just... so...
I mean, who in the **** do they think they’re entertaining with lame s**t like this?
Then, as seen in the preview, Nicole offers up that she ‘used to be a model’. The receptionist wonders aloud, “How long ago was THAT?” Like she’s buying that unshaven, dressed like a skateboarder Milo IS actually a Senator, but an adorable cutie like Jennifer Aniston isn’t believable as a former model? The saddest part is that this scene was responsible for one of the 2 laughs I heard from the crowd...
Though Jennifer is still attractive, even with the appearance of wrinkles crinkling onto her over-tanned cleavage, she is not enough to make this junk pile watchable – Avoid this Bounty Hunter like he was one of the ex-wrasslin’ freaks you’d find on a Bravo network reality show – it is NOT an pleasurable experience.

3 comments:

dbm said...

Thanks for seeing it for me. As I told you last year, I have vetoed Aniston movies. Even her good looks and figure isn't intriguing enough to get me to plop down 10 bucks. Because she has basically given up on acting good or taking real serious good roles with good filmmakers ( unless good filmmakers won't work with her ) How about her next movie which sounds like a celluiod masterpiece. She plays a lady opposite Jason Bateman who tries to get pregnant with a chicken baster !
You know, at one point she was really into the work, when she did those 3 independent movies in a row; She's The One, The Good Girl and Office Space. Clearly her best roles. She should re-think that process again and hook up with some indie filmmakrs again instead of this crap where she just looks good and is collecting a paycheck.
You don't fool me Jenny !

movie luva said...

Dang, I was fooled by liking the trailer.

This movie is so predictable and also like you said, not beleivable, because a bounty hunter isn't going after someone who missed a traffic court date. Give me a break ! Also, I can't think of another actress in movies these days who is just the same in every movie. She dosn't even bother to change her look around at least. Change the hair or something. Be different. That's what acting is. It's as if she gets som real simple lines, and just shows up. And don't get me started on Gerard Butler. He was much better when he was a supporting actor not trying to carry a film.

The biggest problem Hollywood has been doing, especially in the last decade or so, trying to make supporting actors leads. Less is more with some actors.

Terry R said...

I actually like this turkey baster idea - could fulfil my wish that she start doing nude scenes; to make it worth the plopping down of $6 (We do matinees)
& movie luva, you must tell me what you saw in the trailer that intrigued you because I saw 'piece of junk' written all over it... Maybe it's a female thing?