Monday, May 12, 2008

"WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS"

“WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS” (Ashton Kutcher & Cameron Diaz)

What Happens In Vegas Isn’t Funny... & Stays Isn’t Funny. Folks, this movie is just plain awful. Throughout the entire film, I kept asking myself, “Somebody wrote that line & thought it was funny? & then somebody read that line & thought it was funny enough to include in a major motion picture? & then Ashton & Cameron said those lines & thought what they were saying was funny? . . . How does someone somewhere along the line put a halt to this nonsense & say, “Hey, guys... this s**t isn’t funny!”

Now, I know what you’re saying, ‘Look, Mr. Critic, you knew going into this flick that it wasn’t going to be funny, so why did you go?’ That’s a good question. I go to a lot of movies that I have bad feelings about. My answer is – I’m trying to be a good husband.
My wife works hard all week at a stressful job & sometimes she just wants to go out & watch something light & fluffy that’s not going to challenge her intellect; so as long as there’s nothing playing that I really want to see, I take her to romantic chick flicks so she can just unwind with her bag of popcorn & get lost in the fluff... & then I get to jump on my blogsite & rip the things to shreds!
The plot, if you can call it that; Ashton’s father fires him from the family store for being a goof-off – Cameron’s boyfriend dumps her in front of all their friends during his birthday party & the both decide to take off for Vegas with their best friends to forget their woes.
Rob Corddry & Lake Bell play the second bananas, but neither brings nothing but peels to the table. They meet, get drunk, wake up married & win 3 million at a slot machine. Since it was her quarter & he was the one who inserted it, the each lay claim to the money. That incredible thespian Dennis Miller plays the realistic judge who sentences them to 6 months of hard marriage before deciding who gets the jackpot... Contrived? Yeah, maybe just a little...
The fact that I didn't even bother to jot down any of the character's names shows you how little I thought of this 'dumpster filler'...
This will definitely make my bottom 10 of 2008.
I don’t really mind Ashton all that much – he’s an ‘okay’ actor, I don’t expect much from him, so he rarely lets me down (He DOES in this, though!) & with Cameron, I think I speak for a lot of males when I say she was simply adorable in “There’s Something About Mary” & then... what happened? There was a movie called “In Her Shoes” where she had a scene in a skimpy white bikini that made the whole film worthwhile just because of that :30 clip. But lately, her acting skills seem to keep eroding with every terrible film she makes & it has cultivated in “What Happens In Vegas”. I don’t know if it’s all the fault of the lame dialogue, because in the scenes where she’s supposedly roaring drunk, she comes off like an older gal ‘pretending’ to be a frat girl just to fit in & it’s just all so embarrassing, you just wished she’d go away – In fact, you keep waiting for the producer & director to yell out, “That’ll be enough, Ms. Diaz; Don’t Call Us, We’ll Call You!” Or to quote Eric Cartman, "Don't call us... we won't call you either."

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yeah pal, you really know your comedies. Kutcher is such natural comic. Insert sarcasm.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like someone took the review personal. Mr. Reid is there anyone out there you know that is around a computer, say around 1:17 pm, that you may have ruffled their feathers at some time ? Because if they truly thought that movie was hilarious then they have poor taste in movies.

Anonymous said...

You know, it's not that difficult to click on Name/URL & leave a name so I can tell the Anonymous's that agree with me & the ones that don't; But, 1:17 PM Anonymous please write back & tell us one hilarious line you remember from "What Happens In Vegas" because I didn't hear one. I have no problem with people disagreeing with me - my aim is to give my opinion & when you learn my tastes you'll know if you should go see or stay away from it. For example, knowing I'm not a fan of the Adam Sandler-type 'comedies' (Ala "What Happens In Vegas")& you ARE a fan of those, you'll (hopefully) get a chuckle or two out of my review & go see the film anyway, because you know I'm full of it when it comes to really dumb comedies. So, please, at least leave an alias - I want you to come back & call me an idiot as often as you see fit.
& if I ruffled your feathers, well... I've never owned a duck, so I didn't mean to do that!

Anonymous said...

Is Dennis Miller's career in the dumpster or what? Once I enjoyed him in such films as "Disclosure," where his wry delivery was welcome. Now I see him most on Bill O'Reilly. I guess "Monday Night Football" made him damaged goods.

Good point on anonymous 1:17 PM. Anonymous 1:17 PM need not spoil the film to tell us what was funny. If the film was hilarious, anonymous 1:17 PM should mention a scene found in the trailer that is funny. If the trailer does not contain anything truly funny, how funny could the film be? In any event, anonymous 1:17 PM might offer evidence or argument. When he or she gets to junior high school, the teacher will like evidence or argument. On the other hand, both evidence and an argument in the same submission will send the teacher to the web to find out where anonymous 1:17 PM got the submission.

Anonymous said...

Where are we suppose trivia questions?

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. Smithee, I will NOT have you ridicule anyone who takes the time to leave a comment on this blogsite - I'm very grateful to those who do, including yourself & the hilarious 'Anonymous 1:17 PM'!
Let's give him(or her) a chance to watch "What Happens In Vegas" 3 or 4 more times so they might find something funny in the film to relate back to us.
In the meantime, you may bash Dennis Miller all you want. Never has a comedian I once enjoyed tumbled so far as he. I used to say his only flaw was in purposely talking over his audience's head to make himself feel superior, now, with his Bush loving diatribes he sounds like a complete moron. & yes, even in an embarrassing film like "Vegas" Dennis found a way to sink even lower into the dregs of the comedy aquarium, eliciting such comments as 'Hey, I remember him - didn't he USED to be funny?'

Anonymous said...

My 'webmaster' who created this blog for me is supposed to be working on a way to get answers posted on the site - In the meantime you can always email them to me at TDReid523@aol.com & I will let you know if you're right.

Anonymous said...

The anonymous replier said this movie was hilarious ? I don't know how many times I rolled my eyes at the so called jokes. Deserves to be in the top ten worst of 08. Pew ! Cameron Diaz has been doing phoned in performances ever since Gangs Of New York. She had to bring her A game to that movie or Day-Lewis would have chewed her up and spit her out. I thought she held her own pretty well in the knife throwing scene. But lately she is just collecting a nice paycheck and phoning it in. She should be choosier on the projects that she takes on. Maybe The Box will be something.

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, Kurt, she has been 'horrible' of late, absolutely horrible - 'The Holiday' was so bad I didn't think she could sink any lower & then along comes 'Vegas' (Sorry, Anonymous 1:17 PM, but you still haven't written back telling us of a single 'hilarious' scene) & as you pointed out, she has it in her to be a decent actress, even a funny one (Something About Mary) but it isn't 'just' the bad dialogue, her acting just stinks!
. . . still kind of cute, though.

Anonymous said...

this was very funny. you are a stuck up towards the comedies. what you are probably seifeld is king ? not only thing funny. this amke me laugh very hard. not only one laughing either.

Anonymous said...

anonymous 6:19 must just like those types of comedies that have really no origianl story or dialogue just f bombs and fart jokes. I thought this movie was one of the lamest comedies i had seen in a long time.

Anonymous said...

I guess it's nice to know that there's an audience for movies like 'Vegas'. I can just tell you, Anonymous 6:19PM, that there wasn't a lot of laughing going on in the theater I was in. & judging by the other comments left here, I'm not the only one who thought it stunk & was totally void of humor. In regards to 'Seinfeld' -
I liked it, watched it regularly,
but thought it was highly over-rated. I was more of a 'Cheers' guy. My favorite comedy of all time
is 'Monty Python & The Holy Grail' - & they don't come any dumber than that. To me, 'Holy Grail' & 'Airplane' are dumb/funny.
'What Happens In Vegas' & any Adam
Sandler movie is dumb/unfunny. But I don't care if you don't laugh at the same things I do, I'm just letting people know what I honestly feel about a certain film. You can still read my reviews, knowing that if I think it's 'dumb', then you'll probably want to go see it! & when you do, I sincerely hope you're more entertained than I was.

Anonymous said...

most of the chick flicks i've seen with Ashton Kutcher have been at least halfway decent, A Lot Like Love is one example

Anonymous said...

Thank you Patrick, I thought 'A Lot Like Love' was a decent movie too (Critics roasted it though!)
& I thought Ashton did an okay job in 'The Butterfly Effect' where he was required to actually do some scting. The main reason I agreed to see 'Vegas' were the 2 stars - I've liked them both in the past...