"The OTHER BOLEYN GIRL"

“The OTHER BOLEYN GIRL” (Natalie Portman, Scarlett Johansson & Eric Bana)

I’m not much for period pieces so to get me interested in one you have to have an intriguing story... This isn’t. If it is a semi-accurate depiction of the times, I’d seriously have to question England’s reluctance to over-throw the monarchy – these people are sick and disgusting. The fact that a ‘queen’ can be imprisoned because she was unable to give birth to a male & her replacement beheaded for the same crime is barbaric. But instead of public outcries from the townspeople as to why these injustices are taking place, they gather round the square to cheer on the horrific punishments.
This story focuses on sisters Anne & Mary Boleyn(Portman & Johansson) Mary is already married, so when news is spread that King Henry VIII (Eric Bana) is looking for a new wench to bed, since the queen can’t produce a ‘proper’ heir to the throne, Mr. & Mrs. Boleyn offer up daughter Anne. However the king is smitten by the more demur Mary & offers her & her husband positions in the king’s court.
Since no one is allowed to disobey the king, when he sends word to Mary that he plans to ‘nail’ her that night, she dresses appropriately & awaits his mounting... The king acts as if it is of the utmost importance that Mary gives birth to a boy, but when she does, for some reason it doesn’t count because he’s a bastard... Huh? Then why did the king care in the first place?
Don’t ask me why any of this took place, & why it mattered, or didn’t matter – I don’t have a clue. This film makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. The rest of it centers on Anne’s second shot at seducing the king & how she wraps the most powerful man in Europe around her little finger & forces him to make her his queen.
So Henry is depicted as a cold, heartless dictator who only sees women as a vessel to deliver England’s future king, yet when some insolent little tart starts playing games with his affections, he turns into a major wimp, forsaking his duties as king to get into Anne’s bloomers. & Anne, in turn, goes from being brash & coquettish into a miserable, panic-stricken whining ball of mush when she fails to deliver the ‘holy’ male child.
Not a lot to like here; especially from ‘Daddy’ Thomas Boleyn, who pimps his daughters out like they were common whores (Which, in all honesty, they are)
How much of this is ‘story’ & how much is factual, I do not know. I have never had a lot of interest in the Royal Family – but it’s amazing to think that these so-called well-bred English ever evolved into a ‘normal’ society with trash like Henry Tudor in their past.
Acting-wise, I liked Eric Bana in “Troy”, but here, he just doesn’t seem to fit the role. Natalie’s portrayal of Anne is believable until she makes that sudden faux-Soap-Opera-dramatic turn at the end. & Scarlett, a very beautiful woman that I’ve always enjoyed gazing upon, has the acting skills of a bar of soap. Having said that, she isn’t awful in this since her role doesn’t require her to stretch too much...
Just the whole idea of the Boleyn girls being sent out like prostitutes by their own parents & uncle was disgusting, & the fact that the women did as told with very little protests didn’t speak well of their character either. When the film takes a stomach churning turn near the end, it doesn't shock you all that much, given the type of characters that have been introduced.
In fact, the only part of the movie I liked was when Henry’s first wife, Catherine, pauses in front of the Boleyn sisters, curtsies & addresses them as ‘The whores’...