BAD TEACHER

“BAD TEACHER” (Cameron Diaz)

The premise and the trailer gave me high expectations. With that, ‘Bad Teacher’ was a huge let down. Despite being semi-amusing, there simply wasn’t that one killer scene that would make you tell your friends, “You’ve got to go see this movie if just for the (i.e. ‘taser’) scene!”
It has some humorous moments – none of which are memorable.
The ‘hard R’ rating is due only to the repeated use of the ‘F’ word, but this is far from being an adult comedy. In fact, it’s quite childish at times – basically two grown women behaving like teenagers while fighting over a male teacher (Whom to me seemed obviously gay)
Cameron Diaz, playing disinterested middle school teacher Elizabeth Halsey, has almost zero talent in comedy timing – “There’s Something About Mary” being an obvious fluke.
Yes, Elizabeth is a bad teacher, but calling the film ‘Bad Teacher’ invoked comparisons to ‘Bad Santa’ and teech comes up sorely lacking when going up against that comedy classic. (“Best Christmas Movie EVER!” according to comic-book guy)
Is ‘Bad Teacher’ a bad movie – No, it’s a passable comedy (a 21 on my laugh-o-meter)
but I wanted it to be so much better than it was. Yes, I wanted another ‘Bad Santa’; a politically incorrect satire with plenty of witty lines and sight gags – ‘Bad Teacher’ is definitely politically incorrect, but it has no wit. Nor heart.
Elizabeth is a golddigger – her goal in life is to become the wife of a rich husband – love, companionship, finding a partner to go through life together – those feelings and dreams are for saps. So Elizabeth is shallow and could care less about teaching the kids in her class. She’s just there to collect an easy paycheck until Mr. Right puts a ring on her finger.
Scott Delacorte (Justin Timberlake) is her target husband, even though he is ‘just a teacher’, he is the son of a wealthy watch tycoon. He is bland, uninteresting and to this viewer, more than likely gay. Lucy Punch, an odd looking actress but with nice curves, plays Amy Squirrel, Elizabeth’s arch enemy both in school and in trying to win Delacorte’s heart. Their antics devolve into childish catfights that caused more disgusted shakes of the head than guffaws. Actually, they didn’t cause any guffaws, ONLY disgruntled sneers.
There was a dry humping scene included that - #1) seemed entirely out of place considering the point the characters were in at the time and - #2) seemed only to exist for the gossip show crowd. I guess because the two actors involved (Diaz & Craterlake) were at one time real-life lovers, we were suppose to laugh hysterically at them screwing one another fully clothed. This information was foreign to me until Diaz appeared on ‘The Daily Show’ and made me aware of that fact. - #3) wasn’t the least bit funny, and - #4) added more proof that Delacorte was gay.
Jason Segal,as Russell, the gym teacher, plays the seemingly dopey nice guy yet again. Elizabeth insults Russell for the entire first hour of the film. If this film wanted to break from the norm and try to actually be a hard-edged dark comedy, she would have kept insulting him. If this film wanted to make Elizabeth less unlikable by having her suddenly seeing the gym instructor in a new light, without any lights actually coming on, thus turning into a... holy crap, chick flick, they would follow that tired old formula... I’ll let you guess which one they settled for.
With ‘Bad Santa’, even though Billy Bob Thornton’s character takes advantage of the little boy that actually believes he’s Santa Claus, he does so reluctantly. You can tell that he doesn’t revel in making the dumb little kid look dumb – and tries to teach the lad to stick up for himself – thus making ‘Bad’ Santa an acceptable character.
Everything Elizabeth Halsey does ‘for’ her students is meant to benefit Elizabeth Halsey – from opening day of class when she takes a nap while the kids watch ‘Stand & Deliver’ to when she finally decides she needs to start teaching her students properly in order to win a bonus that will allow her to pay for the breast implants she feels she desperately needs in order to attract a multi-millionaire looking for nothing more in life than a trophy wife he can cheat on.
It has some funny lines - I believe Segal’s Russell uttered the bulk of them - but it just doesn’t ‘click’. I found Russell to be pathetic when he gives in to Elizabeth’s come-on after she treated him like a pile of excrement earlier.
So as long as you’re okay with your pre-teens hearing the ‘F’ word, this film is actually aimed at them with its juvenile set ups between Halsey & Squirrel.
I was hoping to have a new best comedy of 2011 to hail, but “Paul” still holds that title for now... “Horrible Bosses” look promising to anyone?