HUGO

“HUGO” (Asa Butterfield, Ben Kingsley & Chloe Grace Moretz)

‘Hugo’ is a pleasant little tale of a young orphaned boy that helps a broken old man
re-discover his dreams... but it isn’t much more than that.
It is obviously director Martin Sorcese’s tribute to the film-makers that began it all and because of that, “Hugo” quite frequently delves into ‘cheesy’ movies with exceptionally bad acting.
The storyline that works involves title character Hugo (Asa Butterfield) and the friendship he creates with Isabelle (Chloe Grace Moretz, who didn’t frighten me this time) The one that doesn’t is the antics of Sacha Baron Cohen as ‘Station Inspector’ whose sole duty seems to be tracking down orphans and having them sent to institutes where they will live their days out in misery. Now, if he was called ‘Orphan Hunter’ I would understand this obsession, but he supposedly is the head of security at the Paris train station so his existence in this film seems to only be for ‘comic relief’. Problem there is that Sacha Baron Cohen never has and more than likely never will be funny.
Other than a heartwarming scene involving two long haired dachshunds, ‘Hugo’ just kind of rolls from one scene to the next without much impact on any emotion – the kids’ friendship is sweet, but sweet don’t feed the Doberman.
The acting, other than the hammy Cohen, is fine – well above the norm; Ben Kingsley as George Melies is fine when he isn’t shown acting in one of George’s crappy films and cameos by Jude Law, Ray Winstone and Christopher Lee were greatly appreciated but too short-lived, especially Law as Hugo’s doomed father.
I was misled by a reviewer that made it appear as though this film was about an automatron that unites young Hugo with the elderly Melies, but the automatron is simply a mechanical device that contains a special secret message meant for Hugo from his departed father. When the message is revealed, it’s somewhat of a let down.
‘Hugo’ relies too heavily on circumstance; now a little circumstance is fine, welcomed, in fact – a little more circumstance can still work as long as its done logically, but ‘Hugo’ goes way over the top with it until you’re left shaking your head in disbelief. Example; Hugo is frustrated by his efforts to get his father’s automatron to work properly; his need, a heart-shaped key. After a chance meeting in the crowded train station with Isabelle and discovering that she’s related to the grumpy old man that runs the station’s gifts ‘n’ trinkets shop (Kingsley’s George Melies) Hugo invites Isabelle into his secret domain behind the clocks in the station – which he keeps running so no one will discover his orphaned existence. After showing Isabelle the automatron, Isabelle just happens to have a heart shaped key that she keeps around her neck – Just in case she might happen upon an automatron that needed starting?
Still, it is likeable but not lovable... Kind of like ‘Wall-E’ with dialogue.

The DESCENDANTS

“The DESCENDANTS” (George Clooney & Shailene Woodley)

Because of my high expectations for this, it was a bit of a let down. I liked the plot, I liked the trailer, I like George – the critics were raving. I told my wife I was hoping to see the second best movie of the year. So with all that going against it – “The Descendants” is a very likeable film, but nothing to get excited about.
Clooney plays Matt King, a lifetime Hawaiian resident that happens to be descended from Hawaiian royalty – his family owns a huge plot of land that will be worth millions to him and his relatives. Matt has the power of attorney as to what’s to be done with the land – or, in other words, sell it to the highest bidder. As the deadline is approaching for Matt to make his decision; local buyers - or ‘outsiders’ from Chicago - his wife gets injured and lapses into a coma.
Matt then discovers his wife was cheating on him prior to her accident so he pulls his oldest daughter Alexandra (Shailene Woodley) out of college so she can watch over her younger sister, Scottie (Amara Miller) while Matt goes about tracking down his comatose wife’s lover.
And that’s pretty much the plot, with a few twists and turns along the way.

Beau Bridges plays Matt’s amiable cousin Hugh; well, amiable until Matt starts to waiver on his decision to sell the property. But he brings nothing special to the table.
Robert Forster plays Matt’s father-in-law, Scott Thorson and other than punching Alexandra’s moronic boyfriend, Sid (Nick Krause) he brings nothing special to the table.
Same for Matthew Lillard as Brian Speer, Matt’s unconscious wife’s lover.
Judy Greer has a couple of nice moments but isn’t in the film enough to make an impact.
What gives this film a pulse is the combination of Clooney and Woodley; there were times when they seemed to actually be father and daughter and it’s their relationship that makes “The Descendants” a cut above your average movie-going fare.
But the problem with the film is that the high expectations from the set ups doesn’t pay off at the end. When Matt confronts Speers in his home you hope for some fireworks, something out of the ordinary to take place – but no, Brian simply apologizes profusely to Matt for the affair he had with his vegetable, er, I mean, wife.
I guess the scenic shots of the Hawaiian Islands will impress those that enjoy sight-seeing. I don’t. But anyone that calls this ‘Oscar’ caliber is either from Hawaii, or agrees with me that this is another lame year for films, because despite being underwhelmed by this movie, it still may make it into my Top 10 just from the acting of Clooney and Shailene...

COWBOYS VRS. ALIENS

“COWBOYS VRS. ALIENS” (Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, Olivia Wilde & Sam Rockwell)

When my friend Chris first told me about this film we both thought it was an internet joke. So when the joke became reality, it just made sense that we should wait until it came to the discount cinema and see ‘Cowboys Vrs. Aliens’ together.
It was worth the $3 admission basically due to Olivia Wilde’s engaging eyes – though Chris thought her rising from the ashes ala the Phoenix was ridiculous, I welcomed her back because I knew the film would suck without her to gaze upon.
But Chris and I agreed on everything else in this film – the beginning half was quite good, entertaining and humorous with an interesting concept – while the second half sunk to what we expected a film called Cowboys Vrs. Aliens to be – junk.
What worked was Daniel Craig’s Jake Lonegan. The film begins with Jake waking in the desert with a wound in his side and an odd metallic device clamped to his right wrist. Despite his efforts to break it off, the device remained attached.
Jake has no memory of who he is or where he was so he aimlessly wanders into the nearest town where he meets Paul Dano’s Percy, the son of the richest land baron in these here parts. Percy is drunk and shooting his gun off in the middle of the street when Jake makes a smart alec remark that Percy takes offense to. Percy winds up wounding a deputy and being kneed in the crotch by Jake before being carted off to jail – constantly claiming, “Wait until my daddy finds out about this!”
Jake soon joins Percy when the sheriff (Keith Carradine) finds a wanted for murder poster in his office.
Daddy (Harrison Ford in one of his ‘I just have to show up and read my lines’ moods)
shows up shortly before the aliens enter the picture. With Jake and Percy ensconced inside a prisoner transference wagon, Daddy demands that the sheriff release his son when the weird lights in the sky appear and begin shooting blasts of light that explode upon impact. As the blasts near the paddy wagon, Jake yells at Percy, “give me your hand!” A very frightened Percy whimpers, “I don’t want to die!” Jake replies, “You won’t if you give me your hand – I know how to get us out of here.”
Once Percy surrenders his hand, Jake proceeds to break every bone in it so he can slip the shackles over Percy’s wrist and thus make his escape.
So, yes, things were going along well at that point – I liked the mystery of ‘Jake’ and the object on his wrist and the humor of Jake constantly pummeling the spoiled rich kid.
But then came the frog-people...
Sam Rockwell played ‘Doc’ though he seemed to be the saloon owner and the local preacher was the one that tended to Jake’s wound. Doc joins the search party that forms after the aliens’ initial attack as his wife was one of the several townspeople that were abducted during the melee.
Jake discovers he was the leader of a gang of outlaws and they, along with a band of renegade Indians join the posse in search of the aliens that they are told by the beautiful Ella (Olivia Wilde) will wipe out all civilization in order to mine all of the earth’s gold.
The movie then descends into the silly cowboys versus aliens motif where it seems that dozens of cowboys and Indians are killed in battle, yet when the dust clears – all the cowboys and Indians seem to be accounted for.
The device on Jake's wrist is a weapon that gives the cowboys an upper hand - but it is one of the alien's weapons - How come they don't have the same thing to fire back at the cowboys and Indians? And how is it that cowboys on horseback can catch up to aliens in spaceships?
What disturbed me most was the ending which lent itself to set up a possible sequel or two – Coming next year “Cowboys Vrs. Aliens 2: The Wrath of The Frog-People”
followed by the Daniel Craig-directed, “Cowboys Vrs. Aliens 3: The Search For Ella”
and then, of course, the Back To The Past time travelling sequel, “C V A 4 : The Voyage Home (To The Old West)” where the cowboys are transported into the future to find a pair of humpback whales that they can bring back to their time to ease the Frog-people who now want blubber instead of gold. You laugh now, but stranger things have happened in Hollywood and you know it...

LET ME IN / NEVER LET ME GO

“LET ME IN” / “NEVER LET ME GO”

Normally I only review films I’ve seen in theatres, but after viewing these two movies on TV, I felt I should write these ‘warnings’ to anyone that hasn’t seen them yet...

“Let Me In” is simply harrowing – that’s the best word to describe how I felt after seeing it. When it came out I read that it was about a 12 year old girl who happens to be a vampire. I am not a 12-16 year old female, so I am not the least bit interested in these modern-day vampire tales where all the male leads look... well, gay. If that offends you, I’m sorry, but it’s the best way to describe these actors that wear feminine looking make up and don’t seem to have much in the way of acting abilities. So I passed on paying money to see “Let Me In”. But it was given mostly good reviews, so I taped it. First thing I thought when it ended was, “I sure hope no 12-16 year old girls ever see this!”
I don’t get ‘scared’ by movies, but “Let Me In” was frightening in the sense that there were a couple of scenes that will haunt me – probably for years.
Quick summary; 12 year old Abby (Chloe Grace Moretz) moves into the same apartment building as 12 year old Owen (Kodi Smit-McPhee) with what appears to be her father (Richard Jenkins) Or grandfather, Richard isn’t exactly a spring chicken. During their first meeting on the roof of the building Abby tells Owen, “We can never be friends.”
Small for his age Owen is the main target of three school bullies. Abby tells Owen to fight back – hard. As their friendship grows, Owen finds out that Abby can’t enter his room without him saying out loud that she can ‘come in’.
‘Dad’ is in charge of feeding young Chloe – with the blood of unsuspecting victims he finds by hiding in the back seat of their cars covered in black garbage bags. When he spills the plasma of his latest victim, Chloe is outraged and Owen hears her yell, “What am I supposed to do now?”
So sweet, diminutive Abby goes out and attacks someone. The scene isn’t scary as the creature Abby turns into is obviously computerized, but the idea that a small child would feign an injury and then 'eat' the person who stops to help her is.
The scene where ‘Dad’ is forced to disfigure himself when his last attempt to find ‘food’ for Chloe is the one that sticks in my mind the most – and gives me the creeps.
Owen remains clueless about Abby until the little nitwit decides he wants to be ‘blood’ brothers with his female friend and cuts his thumb with a knife in front of her...
What happens to the victim Abby attacks after fleeing from Owen, so she doesn’t ‘eat’ him is another disturbing scene that won’t clear from my memory bank.
What makes this film intriguing is the fact that when she’s been fed, Abby is a little sweetheart – in a dark foreboding kind of way – and she does eventually befriend Owen, who seems to be less freaked out by Abby the more freakish she becomes. The only time Owen gets upset is when he discovers who 'dad' really is.

The secret of who dad really is and the fate of the school bullies make “Let Me In” one scary film. Despite the sometime low-rent special effects – it’s the realism that kept me glued to the story. Abby is a normal 12 year old girl, cute when she’s recently dined on human blood, but the fact that she’s been ’12 for a very long time’ is kind of creepy and Owen is a sympathetic little geek that needs protection – they combine to help one another when needed and so the story – dark and gloomy for the most part does have a semi-happy ending.
With “Never Let Me Go” there isn’t a moment of brightness, or a single ray of sunshine in the entire film. I won’t reveal the ‘secret’ of Kathy, Tommy & Ruth –though it is resolved fairly early on, but these three children who are introduced as three of several children being brought up and schooled in an English institute called Hailsham.
I figured it out from the opening scenes, but for some reason telling the obvious is a spoiler. But the only thing that could spoil this movie for anyone is for someone to recommend it to you. It is depressing from start to finish. The secret is revealed by a glum, depressed, Miss Lucy (Sally Hawkins) the students English teacher. Why Miss Lucy is fired is kind of a mystery because in time these kids HAD to be told what their lot in life was to be.
Kathy loves Tommy, but Tommy his social issues – he befriends Kathy but seems incapable of loving her back. Ruth, despite being Kathy’s best friend, seduces Tommy and becomes his lover until they graduate from Hailsham and go to live in The Cottages.
It’s a strange, depressing film because it just ambles along without any resistance from the students. They simply accept their fate without any outcry of protest or attempts to escape. That would have made this a much better story. And wait until you get to the end – You couldn’t imagine a more depressing ending if you tried.
So if you’re in a good mood and you want to lose it quick – Rent “Never Let Me Go” and the blues will encompass you for as long as you keep this glum movie in your brain...

J. EDGAR

“J. EDGAR” (Leonardo DiCaprio, Naomi Watts, Armie Hammer & Judi Dench)

As an actor, Clint Eastwood has never impressed me – as a director, I think he’s brilliant... Perhaps I should change that now to ‘was’ brilliant, after viewing this jumbled mess of a film. It has its redeeming value; DiCaprio & Watts are in fine form – though Naomi’s role is quite understated, she’s perceptively in character in every scene. She deserved an Oscar for “Fair Game” and didn’t even get a nomination; I’m hoping they do a make-up job by giving her at least a nod for her portrayal of Hoover’s lifelong secretary Helen Gandy. DiCaprio’s nomination is a given. He has finally developed into a decent actor – and I am one of those who thought that would never happen. One thing Eastwood excels at is getting the best performance possible from his actors and in that he succeeds with “J. Edgar”. Where he goes wrong is in the editing room.
The story of F.B.I. director in chief, J. (John) Edgar Hoover is told in the annoying ‘jumping around in quantum leaps’ timeline style. I’d like to tell any director that thinks this is an innovative way of telling a story that is most certainly is NOT.
It’s like listening to someone who is high or drunk (or 10 years old or younger) relate an incident to you. They tell you how the story begins and then they stop and go, oh, wait, before that happens, I gotta tell you about this. Then they tell you about that and then wonder where they left off, so they pick up the story in a completely unrelated spot from where they previous interrupted themselves and then pretty soon there’s another, ‘oh, wait, I forgot to tell you about what happened before that happened’ moment... Imagine this going on for 2 hours and you have how Clint Eastwood decided to tell the story of J. Edgar Hoover.
It’s an interesting story of a very strange man, but it is not a very good movie because of the way it’s told. Eastwood drops in on spots of the historic moments that occurred during Hoover’s tenure as head of the F.B.I. but the only one he elaborates on is the kidnapping of Charles Lindburgh’s young son. Deemed more important than Hoover’s uncovering that Eleanor Roosevelt was having an affair, supposedly with a ‘known’ communist and his blackmailing of FDR to keep this fact from the media; a little thing called World War II, JFK’s illicit lifestyle and assassination, the Vietnam War and Tricky Dick Nixon’s antics – an aviator’s child being kidnapped was the most important event of the 1900’s according to director Eastwood.
While Clint leaves little doubt that Hoover was a gay man who kept this fact secret because his mother (Judi Dench) once told him she hated ‘daffodils’ – going so far as to say she’d rather see him dead than homosexual. Since Edgar doted upon his mother as if she was a religious figure, he had to obey her every command. So he proposes to Bureau secretary, Helen Gandy, because he ‘admires’ her capabilities. Although Miss Gandy turns down his proposal, she ends up spending the bulk of her life as his personal secretary – and the person that destroys all of his secret files upon learning of his death.
Hoover hires Clyde Tolson (Armie Hammer) to be his #2 man despite having no qualifications for the job. Speculation is that Edgar fell in love at first sight and sensing that Tolson was homosexual as well, convinced him to take a job he didn’t really want.
Edgar and Clyde’s catfights are almost laughable in how they claw at one another ala a cat fight; “You’re a scared, heartless, horrible little man!” Tolson screams at Edgar with tears in his eyes. He follows this with a kiss on the lips. Hoover bellows, “Don’t EVER do that again!” and then when Tolson storms out, Edgar whimpers, “Don’t leave me, Clyde.”
At one point Edgar states, “Love is the most powerful thing on earth.” - Which seemed totally out of place to me. Here was a man who knew no love (other than mommy’s) and spewed hatred and mistrust his entire life; especially toward anyone with power – inclusing every president and Martin Luther King.
The last item I’ll mention is the make-up crew, which I also found baffling. Naomi’s aging was seamless, Leonardo’s was decent, but Armie’s aging Clyde looked like the Elephant Man in a bathrobe.
Eastwood also makes it appear as though Hoover’s cross-dressing was a misnomer; that he only put a dress on once in homage to his recently deceased mother and then never wore a dress again... As though he just wanted one moment to be a ‘daffodil’ now that there was no chance of being caught by mommy.
And there was little delving into the reasons why Hoover felt the need to unethically send his agents out to dig up dirt on everyone he considered to be a threat to his ‘power’. And why Helen was so fiercely loyal to him and never questioned his motives. Tolson would, and Clyde was in love with the freak – so why did Miss Gandy continue to do the heartless, horrible man’s biding even after his death?
I guess that wasn’t as interesting as tracking down the kidnapper of a baby that was never kidnapped, eh, Clint?
If you enjoy films that bounce around in time more often than Christopher Lloyd in all three ‘Back To The Future’ films combined, then you’ll have a good time watching this jigsaw puzzle biopic. Me? I prefer stories to be told without the teller forgetting necessary details every two minutes and having to go back before continuing...

TOWER HEIST

“TOWER HEIST” (Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Matthew Broderick, Casey Affleck, Alan Alda, Tea Leoni & Michael Pena)

This isn’t anything special, but it’s entertaining enough – It was the first time in decades that I laughed at anything Eddie Murphy did. Same goes for Matthew Broderick – he & Murphy were clearly the funniest characters in this film. It’s not a laugh out loud comedy, it isn’t an intriguing story – it turns into a silly throw a car off the roof of a skyscraper to steal it crime caper. The revenge factor of getting back at the rich a—hole that lost all of the employees pension finds kind of loses its steam after a hotel maid (Gabourney Sidibe) pushes her cleaning cart into an FBI agent & he gets knocked unconscious by the mild blow that would have had anyone else just go “Ow! Why did you do that?” And then the agent seems to stay knocked out for hours before coming to?
The thing about Ben Stiller movies is that they can sometimes be entertaining but it’s never due to anything that Ben Stiller does; “Tower Heist” is no different. Stiller mopes thru the role in his usual manner & never says or does anything remotely funny.
But the supporting cast helps bring this movie to life and make it worthy of something to watch while munching on a $6 bag of popcorn and slurping on a $4 soda. Say, theatre owners, do you think that in this time of financial hardship for most regular folks you could bring the concession prices down a tad?
Okay, back to the film, “Tower Heist” concerns the employees & residents of a high priced apartment building. One resident in particular, Arthur Shaw (Alan Alda) is arrested for insider trading and when the smoke clears after his indictment, the employees at the high rise discover that Shaw pissed away their pension funds after promising to triple them. Josh Kovacs (Stiller) is the hotel manager – he is also quite friendly with Shaw (they play on-line chess against each other & seem very buddy buddy in the beginning) Charlie (Casey Affleck) is the desk manager who is always late and doesn’t seem to take his job very seriously, and Enrique (Michael Pena) is a newly hired elevator operator who gets fired along with Josh & Charlie for confronting Mr. Shaw. One realistic touch that was added; Charlie, the most incompetent of the three is not only the only one hired back, but with a promotion!
Matthew Broderick plays Mr. Fitzhugh, a resident who has lost his job, followed by his wife & kids and avoids being evicted by simply not answering the door.
Part of the fun of “Tower Heist” was seeing actors that haven’t been seen in a while; “Hey, there’s Hawkeye Pierce!” “Look, its Alex Reiger from ‘Taxi’.” “Isn’t that what’s-her-name that married the sex addict that used to be on “X Files”? & “That can’t be Eddie Murphy he’s actually making me laugh!”
Remembering how good Murphy & Broderick were in their early days helps to boost the enjoyment of ‘Tower Heist’ as well – Thinking about “Beverly Hills Cop”, “Trading Places” & “48 Hrs.” along with “War Games” “Project X” & “Ferris Beuller’s Day Off” brought some of the classic scenes from those films to mind - which is never a bad thing.
Murphy plays Slide, a current and ex-convict that Josh knew as a child and sees everyday as he walks to work. When Josh hatches the idea of stealing the 4 million dollars he believes Arthur has in a hidden safe in his luxurious suite, Slide is the only ‘acquaintance’ he knows that can help them. Some of Slide’s moves are clever, some, such as telling the three would-be break in men to go steal something from the mall they’ve convened in & to keep them from just purchasing the merchandise tells them to leave their wallets on the table are so juvenile they barely deserve a smirk. However, having said that and seeing a mile away that Slide was going to take all their money, Murphy’s delivery of the line that tells the trio what morons they were is perfect. He took a scene that didn’t deserve a guffaw and made me spit one out in spite of my smugness.
“Tower Heist” isn’t memorable, but it was a pleasant distraction from the rest of my current life of recovering from hip replacement surgery. It doesn’t sound like much of one, but it IS an endorsement...

The RUM DIARY

“The RUM DIARY” (Johnny Depp, Giovanni Ribisi, Michael Rispoli, Richard Jenkins, Aaron Eckhart & Amber Heard)

This is far and away the most coherent story concerning Hunter S. Thompson I’ve ever seen or read – But that’s not to say it’s cohesive. At times it’s a rambling mess of political unrest, the rickety future of the newspaper business, a property scheme involving rich people risking nothing to gain even more wealth and three mainland American reporters living in Puerto Rico in 1960 and finding nothing better to do than to drink rum practically every waking hour of every day... However, taken scene by scene, it is quite funny and Depp, playing a man named Paul Kemp (who is actually Thompson as it states at the end of the film) is actually one of the saner members of the crew.
I wasn’t planning on seeing this film, but it had been a few weeks since I was able to see a movie & it was either this or ‘Johnny English Reborn’ – fortunately my wife made the correct choice. I was impressed with the cast, however, I had just seen Richard Jenkins in “Let Me In”, so seeing him as the editor of the paper that hires ‘Kemp’ threw me off for a second as I flashed back on a scene in “Let Me In” where he disfigures himself in a rather gruesome way & so my stomach churned every time I saw him. Sure hope that feeling goes away with time...
I remember liking Giovanni Ribisi years ago but then he hit a couple of snags & seemed to disappear – here, he comes back with a vengeance as rogue reporter ‘Moburg’ who produces 470 proof alcohol in a homemade still set up in Kemp’s apartment.
The co-worker that takes Kemp under his wing is staff photographer Sala (Rispoli) These two become almost inseparable since the moment they meet and they segue from one drunken escapade to the next without taking a breather to stop & think about the idiotic situations they keep finding themselves embroiled in... But they are fun to watch (at times)
Then there’s the real estate developer, Sanderson (played by Aaron Eckhart) who starts throwing money at Kemp as soon as he lands on the island & then becomes indignant when Paul refuses to do his bidding. Despite all of his wealth, Sanderson's chief asset is his gorgeous girlfriend, Chenault (Amber Heard)
Speaking to the male readers – Am I the only one who noticed that Chenault without her ruby red lipstick isn’t all that sexy, while glossed up Chenault is incredibly hot?
The story is supposedly fact-based, taken from a H.S. Thompson novel – but if the man was drinking as much as Kemp was during his stay in Puerto Rico – he couldn’t possibly remember all that much of what went on!
Then there’s the land development side plot; I could understand it being a concern today – but in 1960? In Puerto Rico? & all Sanderson seems to do is give Kemp money & cars & show him how to live the ‘good life’ & in return, Kemp steals his boat? & Sanderson’s the bad guy?
If they stuck close to the book, & I doubt that - otherwise it wouldn’t have made ANY sense, being the ramblings of Hunter S. Thompson, it is awfully coincidental that Puerto Rico in 1960 is an awful lot like America, 2011 – political unrest, the newspaper business dying off, the greedy rich wanting to get richer at the expense of the poor & guys who show up drunk for work everyday & wonder why they lose their jobs.
Did they throw all that into the mix just so younger people could relate to the basic story despite all the drunken mishaps?
Still, it is humorous; like when Kemp uses the 470 proof alcohol as a flame thrower to escape from angry drunken Puerto Ricans that were going to kill him just because he knew Sanderson. Boy, I remember when I had my first beer...